Benny Blanco’s Rules for Being a Gentleman (Exclusive)

He’s a Grammy-nominated producer, a TikTok sensation, and a love interest to one of the world’s biggest stars.

But Benny Blanco – who has been dating Selena Gomez since 2023 – doesn’t have much of a reputation. Growing up in Virginia, “I always felt pretty confident,” says Blanco, 36, who has produced hits for Ed Sheeran and Lana Del Rey. “My mother said, ‘You’re the best,’ and my brother was always so nice to me. He always paved the way and made sure people were nice to me. He’s a treasure.”

His family still keeps him grounded, and with his self-deprecating humor and fashion sense (“I love heels!”), Blanco happily redefines masculinity while embracing chivalry.

When it comes to matters of the heart, there should be “no games,” he emphasizes. “I [still] Give it your all on every date. This doesn’t mean you have to spend your entire bank account. It means paying attention and listening.”

Blanco loves gathering his loved ones for themed dinner parties at his Los Angeles-area home (keep reading for his best hosting tips!), and he can often be found in the kitchen cooking up his favorite foods his girlfriend makes magic (homemade Taco Bell and fried Taco Bell). cucumbers, to name just a few).

Despite his enormous success, it is the “simple” things that Blanco values ​​most.

“I’m a real morning person. This is my favorite time to spend with Sel because we both get up very early. It’s like our moment before the rest of the world wakes up,” he says. “I have a really best friend who I can do anything in the world with and every day is the best day of my life.”

1. Learn how to cook

Even if you’re bad at cooking, [your partner will] I like it because you did it. Ask your partner what he would like to eat. Don’t try to cook them anything You want to eat. If you don’t know how to cook it, learn.

If you don’t know how to learn it, get it from Postmates, put it on a plate and pretend you cooked it. No, lying is bad! We never lie. Especially if you’re a man, we’re disgusting. No one should even look at us. Try to be chivalrous: tell her how pretty she is. Chivalry is not dead.

[I learned how to] Recreate Taco Bell meat. I’ve practiced a lot and now I think it’s hard to tell them apart when you put them next to each other. There are so many things you have to do. Some of the meat is kind of mixed. It’s disgusting, but it’s delicious. I do everything from scratch.

2. First dates should be experiences

Whatever the date is, you want your partner to leave and say, “Oh my God, I’m calling all my friends.” That was the craziest thing. We were sitting in the back of a tractor trailer and he was freaking me out the…” It has to be something crazy because you want to make an impression. The person will be going on a few first dates and you need to secure your spot.

I’m trying to create a moment in time because everyone is busy as hell, everyone has so much to do, and everyone is so stressed. If we can just sit back and forget about everything for one to four hours – five if it’s a good date – then everything is fine. Don’t you sometimes leave a date and think, “Oh my God, what the fuck?” Time flew by!”

I do my best on every date. We give everything for each other. One time Sel was like, “Oh, I want to take you on a date.” We were driving somewhere and she had rented an entire botanical garden for me. She also likes something so simple. I got her Taco Bell for Valentine’s Day, I made her movie theater nachos, I found her favorite Texas pickles and fried them for her. Then [I had] all their candy and Hot Cheetos.

This doesn’t mean you have to spend your entire bank account. The most important thing to do on a date is to simply listen to what the person is saying. Don’t talk about yourself all the time. Nobody cares.

3. Dress confidently

If you wear the most expensive item of clothing that has just come out, you are not fashionable. You’re just a person who happens to spend their money. For me it’s all about high-low. I could wear a really nice vintage Prada jacket with something I found at Melrose Trading Post for $10.

I think the best thing is to mix it all up and be yourself. Being yourself in your clothes will make you feel more confident. I personally like to wear a lot of vintage clothing. Some people look good in really fresh clothes. Find your lane and rock it. Don’t try to be someone else.

The last thrift find I’m really proud of is this little pink one Dora the explorer Jacket. It’s so sweet. It’s a short, pink jacket – I think it’s for a child – and I love it. It makes me feel sexy.

I love sharing clothes [with my partner]. It is replaceable. Well, except for a few dresses and stuff. It’s so hard to put them on and take them off. I wouldn’t even do it. But I wouldn’t mind wearing a dress if it was nice. I have a lot of paragraphs. I love heels. Women’s shoes are so good. Men wear women’s heels. I don’t know – this gentleman knows.

4. Self-care is a must

Don’t stink. Do anything. I think it’s really important to have good skin. I have a beautician and she has changed my life. I do what she says. Her name is Lindsay and she works at Artisan of Skin. Wow, I just plugged it: Can I get a discount?

I also don’t believe in always washing or conditioning my hair. I’m really clean, but I don’t shower every day. Some people I know shower two to three times a day, but I feel like the oils on your skin don’t have time to regenerate and lubricate.

I like to use a hodgepodge. I want to smell [like] Tobacco, but also cotton candy. I want it to give off a scent when I walk by. I want it to smell a little bit like a man, a little bit feminine – I’m definitely a little more feminine in every way.

5. Welcome everyone into your home (within reason)

I love [to host]. It’s so much fun. I love Be hosted. [For a] At a dinner party, you want to invite people who don’t necessarily all know each other. They want some people to get together, others to meet who shouldn’t be meeting.

I like mixing friend groups. I want someone who writes songs to sit next to an 80-year-old florist. I think age is nothing but a number. I want a 3 year old to sit next to a scientist and just listen to what he’s talking about because I know it’s going to be crazy.

You want to come up with a really extensive menu that everyone will enjoy. I usually create a group thread and ask myself, “Hey, what is everyone feeling?” Let’s do this.” We do themes and everyone will cook the theme. You want the right drinks. You want the right music.

I want to create a small world. One of my friends is a great Vietnamese chef. We will have a dinner party here and place small wooden baskets and banana leaves on the floor. Everyone just wants to escape to a new damn place.

6. Treat your mother like a queen

My mother is my best friend. Every Sunday we go to the farmers market. I cook her lunch, we swim, we gossip about everything. She sends me things and asks, “Do you think it’s true?” I say, “I don’t even know who these two people we’re talking about are.”

My mother loves flowers. Every year for Mother’s Day I give her the same thing: I give her a new orchid. She’s so good at taking care of them that before she moved to LA she had a room with like 25 of them because I gave them to her every year and she would keep them and they would never die.

7. Giving is an art

Don’t buy a gift that everyone else will buy. In my opinion, the best way to get creative is to listen to something they said in the past and bring it back as a memory.

Most of my gifts are handmade. Let’s say you had the best night at Six Flags and it was your first date. Keep the ticket, frame it, give it to them for their birthday and say, “Oh, that was our first date.” Simple little gestures can go a long way.

The first time Sel and I really went any distance, she made a bear gesture that, when I squeezed his hand, said, “I miss you so much.” You’ll be fine. I’ll see.” You when I get back. She is very good at gift giving. She does the same thing I do: we give most of our gifts to each other.

8. Say no to ghosting

Making someone completely ghostly – I’ve never done that before. You have to be demonic to completely haunt someone. Ghosting is mean! A gentleman shouldn’t do that.

I completely understand that if you go on a date and the guy is totally creepy – then you should completely freak him out. But I don’t want to bother anyone. I always think when I do something like that, I think of my mother and say, “Oh, I want to treat this person the way I would treat my mother and the way I would want someone to treat my mother.”