Column: The Rams are without an appearance in the no-touchdown performance against the Dolphins on Monday night

Who is home?

Nobody at home.

The Rams threw a party Monday night that filled SoFi Stadium with celebrities, legends, pop stars… just about everything you need for a nationally televised Hollywood football party.

The only thing missing was them.

The stage was set for the Rams to prove their championship legitimacy…but they didn’t show it.

The football world was eagerly awaiting the arrival of one of the NFL’s hottest and most exciting teams… and they let it happen.

Read more: The Dolphins score on their first drive and the error-prone Rams can never catch them

The Rams handed the struggling Miami Dolphins a blue-and-gold plate, botched the exchange, let the golden opportunity slip away with a loud clang, completely messed up the joint and staggered away with a 23-15 loss that was as ugly as the score sounded.

“It sucks,” guard Steve Avila said.

It definitely did.

An offense invented by the great Sean McVay and engineered by the hotshot Matthew Stafford scored exactly zero touchdowns. It was the first time in more than two years that this combination was kept out of the end zone.

“Sloppy? Yes,” McVay said.

An offensive line that was finally starting to make sense with the return of two starters allowed four sacks and constant pressure on Stafford, who threw an interception and averaged just five yards per completion.

“Negative plays at the wrong time,” Stafford said. “We shot ourselves in the foot a little bit.”

A smart Rams culture that rarely makes stupid mistakes called six penalties for 64 yards, including an illegal procedure by lineman Beaux Limmer that cost them a field goal.

“Too many things, like we just felt like we were off and never gave ourselves a chance,” McVay said.

They were switched off from the first moment.

The Rams allowed the Dolphins to take the field on their first possession of the game and score on an 18-yard jet screen run by Malik Washington.

The Rams’ first game? Kyren Williams caught a backfield pass from Stafford and was immediately smothered for a 10-yard loss.

“Obviously I didn’t want to lose on the first play (10 yards) … it’s difficult to play football that way,” Stafford said.

The Rams seemingly never recovered and looked nothing like the team that bounced back from a 1-4 start to win three straight games and put themselves in position to eventually take control of an inconsistent NFC West.

With that brought back to reality, they will spend the rest of the week at 4-5, trailing the Arizona Cardinals and San Francisco 49ers. There are still games against both of them, as well as the Philadelphia Eagles and Buffalo Bills.

Translated: They’re still in the playoff hunt, but their margin for error is fading as quickly as McVay’s voice.

“We can’t dwell on this ‘Oh no, woe is me,'” rookie edge rusher Jared Verse said. “We have to keep going.”

Good thing it’s a short week and a trip to New England awaits us this weekend. Indeed, they won’t have much time to reflect on a game in which they had all of their offensive weapons to complement their frenetic young defense, a game in which they were rightly favored and should have won.

The Dolphins had lost six of their last seven games, their quarterback Tua Tagovailoa was being evaluated for multiple concussions and speedy receiver Tyreek Hill was playing with a torn wrist.

Not only blowing this chance, but also making it without even scoring a touchdown? This scene was reminiscent of the 31-point loss at Arizona earlier this season. Championship teams don’t stumble that much, not twice in nine games, and that makes you wonder.

“Whatever I say will be an excuse,” McVay said. “We have to do better.”

Hey, football aside, it was a pretty memorable evening.

Read more: All of his players say it: “John Robinson was, hands down, my favorite coach of all time.”

First, there was the appropriate moment of silence for John Robinson, the legendary former USC and Rams coach who died Monday at age 89.

Although Robinson gained more fame locally as the Trojans’ national team coach in 1978, he is a big part of Rams history, having coached more Rams games than anyone else – 153 – and held the record with 79 wins until McVay broke it earlier this one season overtook.

As the game progressed, the video board did what the Rams offense couldn’t: It went wild with stars.

Aaron Donald was shown leading the cheers. Mookie Betts was featured as host with “Moooos.”

LeBron James was shown and Marshall Faulk was interviewed, and the “I Can Make Your Hands Clap” group – Fitz and the Tantrums – had the stadium shaking at halftime.

The Rams’ defense also got people clapping, holding the explosive Dolphin offense to 238 yards. However, if the offense can’t protect Stafford better and Stafford can’t better adapt to the wide coverage of Cooper Kupp and Puka Nacua, this team could be in trouble.

“There was no semblance of complementary football at all,” McVay said. “We have to be able to improve on that.”

Even when the Rams were good, they were bad. Christian Rozeboom intercepted Tagovailoa early in the second quarter to put them in a position to carry the momentum… and yet just moments later they gave it back on a Williams fumble.

“One play here or there can make the difference, and we just didn’t do enough,” Stafford said, speaking of the entire team.

During his postgame press conference, Stafford wore a blue baseball cap backwards. On the other side was the Dodgers logo.

Yes, after Monday night, this team needs to turn things around… again.

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This story originally appeared in the Los Angeles Times.