Northland end-of-life companion helps people face death with dignity – Duluth News Tribune

DULUTH – Allison Ronning has always worked in a service profession. A former Duluth resident who now lives in Kerrick, she worked as a therapist for 16 years before discovering her passion for helping people at the end of their lives.

The deaths of both her parents in 2022 helped her find her calling as a caregiver for the dying.

“I already felt comfortable working with people as a therapist during some of the deepest, darkest and most personal moments of their lives,” Ronning said. “The opportunity to accompany my parents through their death was a rewarding process that helped me advance my work as a death companion.”

People may associate the word “doula” with the other end of the life spectrum: the birth of a child. However, Ronning said the term means “service” and not that it specifically addresses pregnancy.

“Doulas typically provide people and families with help and resources around birth. End-of-life doulas still provide services and resources, just at the other end,” Ronning said. “It is truly powerful to be able to help this person and their family have a deeply personal end-of-life experience full of dignity, respect and honor.”

The services provided by a death companion vary depending on individual needs. If a person has a terminal prognosis but has some time left, Ronning says she meets with the person to assess their needs as the disease progresses. It can help advocate for the patient, ensuring they have everything they need for medical attention and pain management and that caregivers have the necessary equipment and training.

She also enjoys working with patients on legacy projects.

“It can be as simple as talking about their stories and preserving them,” Ronning said. “Or to help sort through images and create a book about their lives that can be passed down through generations and preserved long after they are gone.”

Ronning is a big proponent of having difficult conversations about death. She encourages expanded health care guidelines and discussion of details, such as who they want with them and whether they want music or an open window.

“I really believe that in order to live a truly authentic life, we can acknowledge and honor the fact that we are going to die and have some control over what it might look like, then die authentically,” Ronning said. “Because I’ve never worked with a family who said, ‘Gosh, I wish we had just waited for those chats, right?’ Yes, no one says that. It’s exactly the opposite.

“People put it off and then struggle with some level of stress and guilt rather than having the holy, beautiful experience that comes at the end.”

To spread her message of preparation for death, Ronning began hosting regular “Death Café” services: a free hour or two where she meets with people to talk about death.

“Everyone is welcome to share their story,” Ronning said. “You can even come and just sit back and listen. I hope that it at least gets them to think about what death looks like in their lives and that they at least talk about it with their family members.”

Ronning hosted Death Cafe every week at Wussow’s Concert Cafe, 324 N. Central Ave., Duluth, but took a break in the summer and fall. She plans to resume it in the new year at some venues and in collaboration with organizations that can provide support with the death experience.

“It really starts the conversation about something that is a natural part of life, but unfortunately has a lot of taboos associated with it,” Ronning said. “So if I can offer people the opportunity to come in and share what they think and feel about death, I think that’s a service to the community.”

For more information about Ronning’s End-of-Life Doula Services and updates on upcoming Death Cafés, visit Soulfeggio Care Consultation and End-of-Life Doula Services, LLC on Facebook.

Teri Cadeau is a reporter for the Duluth News Tribune. Originally from the Iron Range, Cadeau has worked for several community newspapers in the Duluth area, including the Duluth Budgeteer News, Western Weekly, Weekly Observer, Lake County News-Chronicle and occasionally the Cloquet Pine Journal. When she’s not working, she’s an avid reader, crafter, dancer, trivia fanatic, and cribbage player.